I’ve never shared this publicly before, but in light of Robin Williams’ suicide I hope my story might help even one person.
When I was 10 years old my mom attempted suicide.
She and I were home alone when she asked me to get her a glass of iced tea. She told me she wanted to kill herself and needed the tea to swallow the pills.
I will be forever grateful to my dad for ensuring I did not have to grow up feeling in any way responsible for my mom’s death.
As soon as I called him at work and told him what my mom was doing, he had me leave the house to go to a neighbor’s. I don’t know the steps he took, but I do know that while I was being comforted and reassured by some lovely people my mom was taken to the hospital where she stayed for several weeks.
My dad didn’t just save my mom’s life that day. He saved mine.
I’m grateful to have been given the opportunity to see an amazing therapist who helped me to realize that I was not responsible for my mom’s happiness or for her depression. But this took many many years.
My mom attempted suicide when I was 10. I stopped feeling guilty when I was 25.
My heart goes out to Robin WIlliams. I can only imagine the pain he was feeling which caused him to commit suicide.
And my heart goes out to his family. It is not your fault.
To anyone who’s loved one has attempted or committed suicide:
It is not your fault.
To anyone contemplating suicide:
Please get help. You may not be able to see it, but there are people who love you and want you in their lives. You may not be able to see it, but things can get better and suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
You are loved. Please get help.
Sending you love,